Your Mother’s Day takes on different looks as your kids grow up.
The first ones—all glowing because they are so little and your day is filled with cuddles and kisses.
A few more years go by—the handmade cards or a handful of flowers picked from your yard.
A few more years—maybe they’ll fix you breakfast and then leave the kitchen a mess,
High School—treat you to lunch and pay for it with the money from their first job (or they’ll leave the tip while you pick up the check).
College—a phone call or maybe the first card they picked out by themselves just for you.
But this year, I am finding out what it means to be the mom to two grown men and I have to say, I am loving it! No, I won’t be able to actually be with them on my day, but you know I realized something this year-it is just a day out of the year and any day can be Mother’s Day when you get to spend time with your kids.
Already this year I got to spend a week at my oldest son’s home in NC. He had picked out places for us to go where I could take pictures to my heart’s content. He even met me at the airport with a sign that said ‘cool mom’ just because I had always wanted someone to be waiting for me when I got off a plane with a sign and my name on it! We took his dogs to the beach and walked them around Carolina Beach State Park. He didn’t mind driving me all over town, stopping the car so I could get a good picture, or even circling the block a couple of time so I could get just the right angle. And for the first time in a long time, we just took time to hang out, sit around and talk. No rushing around, no schedules, no agendas. I enjoyed getting to know my son as the grown man he has become. And I am so proud and humbled by the man he is today.
This past weekend, I got to hang out with my youngest son and his new wife. They came down to spend the day with me for an early Mother’s Day as they’ll be busy moving the next few weeks. They forgot my present, (2nd year in a row i might add), and I am beginning to think it is now hanging on the wall of their apartment! They apologized again and again but what they gave me this weekend was more precious than any present they could ever buy in a store. They gave me hours of just us three sitting around, no TV, no distractions, just sitting around the den, talking, laughing, looking at pictures, and connecting. They are so busy starting out in their new lives, that uninterrupted time to just talk is almost non-existent. But that day, we discussed childhoods, family, dreams, religion, trips, moving, you name it-we discussed it-and I couldn’t have been happier. Not only did I get to see how they are learning to interact as an old married couple, but I was able to connect to them as a couple. I know, sounds silly, but it is hard to go from seeing your son as a little boy, now turned into a grown man with a wife. But that day I was able to relax and get to know my new daughter better. I love how she makes my son a better man and how she welcomes me to be a part of their family. I love how she feels at home here.
I will always love my boys, but I also like the grown men they have become.
So no, I won’t be able to spend the official day set aside to honor us moms actually being with either of my kids, but what I’ve learned is that you have to change and adapt. You have to grow up as they do. You have to learn to respect that they have their own lives now. Just as past Mother’s Days changed as they grew up, you have to change too.
Any day you spend with your kids is a Mother’s Day. Every day is special and should be treasured. As they grow up, we may feel less important, but that’s not true. You are the person who is always in their corner, who is there when they need a shoulder to cry on or the encouragement to keep trying. You are the representation of home, no matter where you may be. You are the one who has loved them at their worst and loved them at their best. You are their mom, and while it is only 3 little letters-it represents so much more.
Happy Mother’s Day to us all-every day of our lives.